I admire anybody who is on bedrest for any reason, for any prolonged amount of time and remains sane to tell about it. I tell you what, your mind becomes your worst enemy. It constantly bounces around from one thought to the next. One minute, you feel good and positive. The next minute, you feel lonely and depressed. It’s crazy. I had to break out the giant sudoku book today just to distract my mind. Maybe I will become a sudoku master.
The hardest part. Sitting on the couch feeling like a lump and watching everybody living their “normal” life around you. Also, you are forced to watch someone else run your home. Basically, it’s like someone layed you off from your career but are requiring you to sit and watch while someone else does your thing but not quite in the same way. The project that took you 10 years to build. Yeah, someone else is working on it right in front of you. It’s torture I tell you!
Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely grateful for the help we have received. We wouldn’t be able to survive without our friends and family. The kids wouldn’t be fed, clothed or at school. Our refrigerator would be empty and our house would be condemned by the city as a health hazard. Even though it’s hard for me to let go, at least that stuff is being prevented by others generosity.
So, if you think that bedrest is a piece of cake, think otherwise. be grateful that you can move your legs and can sneeze or pass gas without fear of body organs ripping apart. The things that are getting me through this are first of all, the thought that this too shall pass and we will be holding a healthy baby in a few months. Second of all, the channel A&E. That’s right, the Arts and Entertainment channel on tv.
If you think your life is difficult, watch the shows on A&E. There’s the show Intervention (one of my personal faves), 48 Hours, Dog the Bounty Hunter, The Cleaner, Cold Case Files and numerous other cop type/forensic shows. I think these really appeal to me because at one point in my life, I wanted to be a cop/detective. But really, there’s nothing like watching some drug addicts and unsolved murders to make you feel blessed. There’s always something for everybody and it could always be worse. After watching these shows, I am thankful to be at home safe in bed without suffering from a heroin addiction. It’s better than therapy or pills and much cheaper.
Now, as for the baby. As far as I know, there has been no change since last week. Except in my butt, I think that has gotten much larger and flatter since last week. I can’t see inside my womb. I wish they had sent me home with an ultrasound machine. How fun would that be?? It would have provided hours of entertainment. I still think I feel little taps down there if I sit very still for a while, especially at night. Hopefully, no new news is good news. I will know for sure in a couple days when I go for my next evaluation. I’ll let you all know if anything more exciting turns up. Right now, it’s ground hog day over here and I want to spare you all from the monotony of my life.