Go to fullsize image  I keep thinking about how strange families are.  We saw plenty of family over the past few weeks due to going to visitations or funerals.  It turned out to be a real eye opener for both Tomas and myself.  I decided to make a list of the top things that you should NOT do at a funeral or a visitation.  These are all real and were either observed by Tomas or myself.  This might even be a short list after everything we saw and heard.

1.  Do not wear cargo shorts, a logo tshirt and flip flops to a funeral service, especially if you are immediate family.  There is something a little disrespectful about that I think.  We saw at least 5 people do this.

2.  Do not deal drugs with your cousin 6 feet from the casket of your grandmother at the visitation.  I am surprised that Grandma didn’t roll over right then and there.  Let me tell you folks, it wasn’t the “light” brand of drugs either.

3.  Do not show up to the burial ridiculously late when you left the funeral service with the family.  Like, just as people are throwing dirt on the vault and dispersing to their cars.  It might have been okay if it hadn’t been for the big ta-doo made by themselves on arrival. 

4.  Do not show up drunk and stinking of alcohol at the burial (or funeral/visitation for that matter).  Of course, these were the same duo that showed up ridiculously late.

5.  When giving a long winded eulogy, do not relate protests against our democratic government and other very “questionable activities” (i.e. illegal activities) to the strength your deceased father had when working with the underground to provide Jews with food in WWII.  Something just doesn’t compute there.  No one could pick up the true correlation.

6.  Do not take dentures out of a deceased persons embalmed body right before the showing.  The mouth just looks a little strange after that.

7.  Do not show up to a visitation 15 minutes early because you were going to leave on vacation that night.  Okay that’s not so bad in itself, until this person found the grieving children in the bathroom and wished them their condolences and then immediately left.  Perhaps you should wait until they have their pants adjusted before you attempt to console and run.

8.  Don’t miss your parents funeral/visitation because you don’t like dead people.  I think there would be some serious guilt afterwards.

9.  When speaking at a funeral, be sure to use a kleenex.  Don’t wipe/blow your nose onto your hand and then wipe it on your pants.  Trying to snort loudly to keep all the snot in also doesn’t sound well when you are hooked up to a microphone.  Take a moment, and use a tissue, everybody sheds tears at funerals and understands.  People will be able to hear what you are saying and will not be distracted by the snot streaks on your pants.

10.  Get permission from the funeral home director BEFORE lighting strongly scented incense and performing chants near the body.  There may be some “rules” that need to be followed due to ventilation and indoor air pollution/allergies.

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