Go to fullsize imageWell, we have been potty training Anson for some time now.  Let’s get one thing straight, he knows what he is doing.  He can go pee, pee on the potty.  There are just a couple things that have stood in the way. 

First of all, he is a very, very stubborn child.  Once his little mind grabs on to something, he will just not drop it.  So, if he decides on any given day that he does not want to sit on the potty, he will scream, whine and pull out the old wet noodle trick to avoid his inevitable fate.  Which brings me to my second challenge.  I just do not have time for his shenanigans.  I mean, really, who has time to sit and negotiate pee pee for 2 hours when you have 2 other children creating chaos around the home?  They need supervision too before anyone gets hurt.  My solution has been, I simply put him on the potty kicking and screaming.  Give him some reading material, read to him for a few minutes, and if nothing happens then he’s done.  He gets off the toilet to try again 20 minutes later. 

Surprisingly, because he is so stubborn, he has a bladder made of steel.  He can go into lock down for hours.  Then he gets cranky because his back teeth are swimming.  Anyway, there has only been 2 accidents during our potty trials.  He now wears underwear all day long and will go on the potty himself most of the time.  Thank the Good Lord for that!  Do I hear an “Amen!”?

Well, believing that my little cooperative Anson was fully trained.  I took him to the store for the first time in unders, no diapers.  I waited 20 minutes while he sat on the potty before we left, only to have him produce a couple drops.  I persevered thinking that his bladder of steel would come in handy.  It was going to be a quick trip, after all. It was 7pm and the kids had to get to bed by 8pm.  (I am sure that you can tell where this is headed.)

All four of us, headed for the mall.  I packed the 2 youngest in the stroller.  Zack walked.  Did I mention that our destination was a clothing store for women?  Did I mention that I didn’t feel the need to bring in the diaper bag?  I just had to pick up a gift for my sister, I swear it was supposed to be in and out.  The minute I walked into the store, things went crazy.  Kids were crawling out of the stroller, hiding under clothing racks, playing tag behind the purchase counter, etc.  It was absolutely insane.  Then I hear Anson say very loudly from under a clothes rack, “Mommy, I peed!”

Oh goodness!  If you could hear heads turn, you would have heard the roar of a thousand winds as everybody in the store turned and looked at me.  What did I do?  I acted casual and slowly “browsed” my way over to Anson’s clothing rack/out house.  I peek under.  There is pee everywhere.  He is drenched.  It was obvious that his bladder could hold it no more.  There are standing puddles of pee in his Crocs.

I refuse to panic and this is not helped by the fact that Zack feels the need to lecture Anson very loudly about going pee pee on the potty and not in the store.  More looks of disgust pierce the back of me.  I attempt to act casual.  I need a plan, an out that will not create more of a pee pee mess than has already happened.  Ironically, I notice that we are only about 10 feet from the Restroom entrance.  Nice, Anson.  Only a couple more feet and at least we would have been on hard wipeable floor instead of carpet!

I formulate a plan.  I pick him up by the arm pits.  Hold on to those overflowing Crocs, Anson!  Phew, we barely make it without spilling more.  I do a head count.  Zack, check.  Anson, check.  Gret….where’s Gret?  Oh yeah, she’s still out in the store standing in the stroller with my purse unattended.  I run out and quickly move the stroller next to the bathroom door.  I prop the door open a little to keep an eye on her while I empty Anson’s shoes and strip off his soaking wet pants/unders.  Now what?

I can’t take him out in the store and walk all the way through the mall with a child in soaking wet pants.  It has already started to stink and Anson is not comfortable.  I quickly decide that Zack must take off his underwear and give it to Anson so at least everyone’s privates are covered.  Zack thinks this is hilarious and willing gives up the goods and replaces his shorts.  I find a garbage bag that’s empty and shove all the wet items in it.  His clothes and everything are just dripping everywhere they were so wet.  Thank goodness for a disposable plastic bag at that point. 

I clean the bathroom up as much as I can from Anson’s pee pee.  I buckle him in the stroller in his pantless state and try to calm my adrenaline as I pay for my item.  I almost pulled off some sort of semblance of sanity too.  Except children don’t believe in being discreet.   Zack relates to the cashier, “My brother was naughty and went pee pee in the store, right there on the floor.  Not in the potty like a good boy.  It was a really big stinky mess.  He won’t get a treat.  I had to give him my undies and now my penis is loose in my pants.  It feels silly.  I’m 4.”

The young girl looked at me in shock.  I just shrugged my shoulders, handed over my money and wheeled my half clad screaming, peeing crew through the mall and back home before any other incidents.  I guess it’s good that this incident didn’t happen at a craft store.  It probably would have tipped the scales and we would have been banned for life.  Instead, we live to shop another day!

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