Change Comes From Within

A really good friend of mine, a.k.a. horsehead, would always reply in response to the question “Do you have any change I could borrow?”, “Hey man! Change comes from within.”  She also says when you give her directions to drive “straight”, “Stacey, go forward, never straight.”  You can see why I love this 36 year old wise sage.  Everytime I hear the same line of questions from others, I hear her wise wise words in my head…”change comes from within”.  It’s korny, but it works.

As I was thinking last night about how I was working on greening my home and all of the outside environment that I come into contact with, I thought about how overcoming my anxiety hurdles this past year has caused a progressive greening of my insides as well.  I think that it is wise to think about possibly changing some attitudes or thoughts that are within.  Afterall, what’s the point of living a healthy physical life if your psyche is a toxic mess.

So today, I want to encourage MEEPs to look at their innards.  That gross dirty business of sorting out the good, the bad and the ugly within.  I am am by no means a professional at this but I have heard from some pros in this area and have gotten some great advice.  Here’s the short list of the most helpful tips to green up the inside and blossom this spring into a beautiful green goddess.

1.  Identify toxic relationships.  I had certain relationships that literally made me sick.  Everytime I had to deal with a couple people for an extended amount of time, I would have a low grade anxiety attack or get sick.  First, I had to acknowledge my contribution to this negative interaction.  Could I do anything to help it?  Secondly, I had to decide to let these relationships peacefully pass after I was able to make my contribution to it “right”.  It involved a lot of forgiveness and letting go of guilt.  The hardest part, is when it’s family.  But sometimes, family members can be the most toxic because of past history.

2.  Adjust your expectations of yourself and get rid of toxic thoughts.  Sometimes, especially with mothers, you expect way too much of your body and your mind.  You can burn yourself out by doing way to much.  Whether it’s the kids school, extra activities, constantly being a stellar wife, mother and friend, we tend to push ourselves to this level of performance that no other person would ask of us.  When we don’t meet our own expectations, we fill ourselves with toxic negative thoughts.  Sometimes, we can get buried in that negativity, saying to ourselves “I am a bad mother (wife/friend).  Why can’t I keep it together all the time?  I have let people down.”  Stop filling up with toxic thoughts and say “I’m good enough.  I’m smart enough.  And dog-gone-it, people like me.”  Note SNL reference here.

3.  When you think someone else should change (i.e. your husband/partner) their line of thinking or actions, be the first to bend.  Here’s some of the best advice I ever received.  When you want someone else to make an effort at something, whether it’s getting your hubby to be more affectionate or do the dishes or a friend that just isn’t attentive to others, be the one to begin the change first.  They will almost always meet you in the middle.  Instead of expecting others to change for you to meet your needs/priorities and getting all worked up because they just aren’t doing it, make the first step yourself.  If you bend a little, they will bend a little and the change will begin to take shape.  So next time you are fuming inside your head because your husband didn’t take the initiative to cuddle or give your a kiss at a time you wanted it, step forward and give him a hug or kiss.  Or if you want someone to be more open and accepting, do something for them that shows you are open for communication and willing to give as well.

That’s just a start to ways you can green up the inside.  Take care of your body and take care of your mind.  And hey, Horsehead, this ones for you crazy girl.

 

How to be MEEP

Hi MEEPS!  I am so glad that you joined me for my first post on becoming a MEEP (My Everyday Earth Partner as explained here).  We have a great group going!  So far, it’s just me and my cat.  We really need your help to boost this group to the top of the environmental pyramid! 

Our first action today to become Everyday Earth Partners is to really give a big message to non-ecofriendly corporations and manufacturers.  It’s going to be tough.  It’s going to be brutal.  But best of all, it’s going to be stealth.  Those big dogs will never see us coming.

Try and guess what we are going to do?  Nope, we are not going to only shop high end designers who are making $150 dollar organic jeans.  We are not going to throw out all of the non-organic food currently in our cupboards and head to the health food store to buy all new.  We are not going to write letters or prank the CEOs. 

OOOH!  I am so excited, you will never guess!  At least my cat (the only current MEEP to achieve lifetime member status), has not guessed yet.  We are going to do nothing.  That’s right.  NOTHING.  Put your pocket books away.  Don’t run out to that best Earth Day sale ever at Macys.  Don’t drive across town to get your one free reusuable shopping bag and burn a hole in the ozone with exhaust fumes.  Don’t deliver letters to congress people or sit on the computer emailing heart wrenching letters imploring companies to change.  Just stay home.  Stay home and be happy with what you have.  Stop buying crap you don’t need.  Stop worrying about if the tshirt you just bought from Walmart was truly made with recycled material but dyed with a nonplant based dying process.  Just stop.  Our houses are full enough and our lives are full enough of activity.  Earth toxic products only last on the market because people are buying them.

Stay home for one day.  Look at the trees.  Look at the sky.  Pet your cat.  Think about how much you contributed to the environment by just appreciating what you have and not wanting anymore.  Then get up and advise a friend to do nothing as well.  This will start a chain reaction of do nothing-do gooders that will save the earth everyday for the rest of the year.

Thirdly, don’t forget to be MEEP.  My cat and I are really nice and not weird at all.  We would LOVE it if you joined our group.  There are no initiation fees.  Just quiet appreciation.

 

Wordy Wednesday

Normally, I would have a “Wordless Wednesday” post. Today, I obviously did not. “Why?”, you say. I will tell you why. My Wednesday has been anything but wordless. It has been filled with talking and whining and crying and temper tantrums. Well, enough about me…let’s talk about the kids.
They were in rare form today. I had a game board thrown at me and was told that by Zack that I had ruined his whole day just because I wouldn’t let him cheat while playing CandyLand (note: this action sent him to the naughty spot for a very, very long time). The nerve!! I hate that game anyway. I never win. Stupid Licorice guy gets me everytime. And let’s not even talk about my never ending quest to win just one game of Chutes and Ladders. I swear to you that I have never won that game since we have gotten it this past Christmas. Even though I am playing against a 4.5 year old and a 2.5 year old, I can never win! Those blasted slides send me right down to the bottom every time. Zack thinks it’s the funniest thing ever. Me, not so much. You might say he gets his competitive streak from me.
Then, there’s little Gret. Sweet little Gret with her tiger teeth. No nap today. Just a quick little bit of shut-eye on the way home from the Good Idea Momma house after a playdate (seeing as how that drive took 5 minutes, it wasn’t much of a nap).  One would think that a 1 year old vampire (due to her teeth) would want a little sleep during the day.  Not this one.  She wanted to run and whine and then eat cheesecake all day.  Yes, again, she’s just like her mommy and loves the cheesecake.  Thanks Oma for making it at Easter!  It’s my favorite and I realized it’s Gret’s new fav as well since she followed me around growling for more after her first taste.  The sugar did wonders in improving her mood.                     

At this moment you may be wondering what the point of this long winded post may be.  Here it is:  I have declared today “Wordy Wednesday”.  Therefore, I just typed whatever came into my brain because it really doesn’t matter if it makes sense, it just needed to be wordy.  Plus, the large Mocha that I picked up on the way home from grocery shopping at 10pm tonight really has me wired.  If there was anyone awake at my house right now, I would talk to them instead.  But their not and you’re here still reading this longwinded pointless post.  So I will keep typing….see my next post about my grocery hoarding for more words.  Word…to your mutha! (and I mean that in the nicest, best way possible.)

 

Me Do It!

Well, I did it or “me do it!” as Anson would say.  I made it just under the wire for my new Monday post.  It’s 11:30p and I just posted the first item under my new calendar plan for the blog.  I feel good.  Technically, I could have done better seeing as how you only have 30 minutes left to read it on Monday.  But hey, it’s better than nothing There were so many draining exciting things that happened today.  I was lucky to make it to the computer at all!

It was the first day of preschool!!  For Zack AND Anson!!  How exciting!

We made it out the door on time this morning.  All 3 of us.  Zack, Anson, and myself (I called my mother-in-law to watch Gret for the day.  I needed back up.)  They were carrying their little school bags and I was carrying a little anxiety right between my shoulder blades.  Let me give some background as to why.  When I took Anson to his classroom for the shortened parent attended class last week, he successfully kicked 2 other classmates in the head.  Slapped, pushed or punched every other kid.  Refused to sit on the rug during reading time and then cried in the hallway at the top of his lungs when he realized his best buddy Zack was in a different room for school.  I was proud that I even dared to take him back to school much less make it there for the whole morning.

I take the 2 excited guys into the school, help Zack get into his classroom.  He is so happy to be back at school.  Anson is in the hall crying again, screaming “Zack! No Go!” alternately.  I pick him up and go into his room.  I wonder if they know what they are in for today.  I resolve to escort him through most of his first day.  I fear for the other children’s lives.  He begins with his usual stubborn ways but this time there is no hitting, kicking or pushing.  He is learning to manage his stress!  I am so proud.  We make it through the morning together and go greet Zack when he is done with his class.

We get in the car to go home (literally 2 minutes away).  Zack now begins to release his stress by yelling and arguing about every little thing possible.  I literally wrestle him out of the car.  Just in time for my mother-in-law to see him slap me not 1, not 2, not 3, but 4 times!  Not a good decision my boy.  He goes upstairs in an unlimited time out.  He sat there screaming bloody murder for almost 40 minutes.  He decides he is done and wants to see grandma.  I quickly nurse Gret.  My kids eat a healthy lunch of left over Dunkin Donuts and milk.  Yes, I admit it.  I did feed my children pure junk for lunch and I would do it again if I had to!  It is now time for me to leave for my first visit to the local Mind, Body, Spirit center for healing. 

I hurry out the door and make it in time to my appt.  Thank goodness I got all green lights.  It must have been my lucky day and I just didn’t realize it until now.  I spend 2 hours consulting with my new kindred soul, my naturopath.  An amazing experience!!  I love her! So insightful about IBS and anxiety.  I came out of there with sheets of suggestions and info.  The best part, none of this involved trying out yet another pharmaceutical.  It was all diet and supplement related.  I have renewed hope for my health quest!  I am then sent over to the lab for blood tests to determine food allergies.  Another hour, but it will be so worth it. 

After all this, I head on over to the Health Food Store to pick up some new Vitamins.  I get caught up in one of my favorite places to shop and walk out with a bag full of “healthy options”.  Then, I go home.  After updating me on the kids my mother-in-law leaves, just before Tomas gets home from work.  Tomas informs me that we have 45 minutes until his brother and wife are coming over to hang out.  Wow, thanks for the early notice.  I throw together a gourmet meal of PBJ, grapes and yogurt.  Joy of joys, my children believe that the vanilla yogurt is icecream and don’t complain.  They are also being fairly cooperative considering their episodes earlier today.  My bro-in-law and sis-in-law stay until a little after 10pm.  What do you know?  The day flew by and I still didn’t post on my sweet, sweet blog! 

I was tempted to skip blogging but I wanted to document my day.  Why??  Because the next time somebody asks me what I do with my time while staying at home with the kids, I will direct them to this post and say…”Here’s what I did!  What part of this makes you think I am a STAY-AT-HOME mom?” 

ZZZZ…oops sorry!  I need to get to bed! I just feel asleep at the keyboard.  Hope that your Monday was not so manic!