We Have too Many Chips and Not Enough Dales

There are some very strange and disturbing phenomena occurring over here at our house.  The clumsy curse continues.  For those of you who don’t know me in real life, you may not be aware that my family has a little bit of clumsy built into our genetic code.  I am not sure what gene it’s on, but I have found it to be a dominant trait.

This crazy clumsy gene has now appeared in our little Gret.  Somehow, somewhere she has managed to chip BOTH of her top front teeth!!!  I am so angry!  She just got those teeth and they are already chipped.  You can imagine how extremely gapped tooth she looks now since that’s another family trait from mama.  I guess it was her turn seeing as how both of the boys have had chipped teeth for a couple years now.  But man, we didn’t even get a 1 year old picture with her new pearly whites and to top it off, we don’t even know when this occurred!  There has been no blood shed or crying.  She’s obviously a tough little cookie.

So as of today, all 3 of my children have fallen (thank goodness, they all got up) on their faces and have broken teeth.  At least you can see the resemblance between the 3 of them.  All three have smiles that resemble a boxer.  Gret’s smile is the best…2 little nubbins of teeth that are now little sharp triangular daggers.  We’ll have to look at those for the next 6 years, but you can bet that her breast feeding days are seriously numbered right now.  Imagine getting bitten by those pointy things.

 

The Cheapest Aromatherapy EVER!

Well, I have been working on collecting some information on essential oils and aromatherapy uses.  I get a little bored with the same scents and I really don’t know much about how to mix the different oils together for different uses for baths or cleaning beyond lavendar and tea tree oil.

Anyway, as I was trying to find a good reliable website to reference, my children were playing in the same room.  They were jumping around and acting silly.  When suddenly, Zack “tooted” (a.k.a. farted).  “Uh Oh, Excuse me!” he shouts.  Anson falls on the floor in belly laughs.  Zack continues to jump around laughing as well.  I hear another little stinker slip out.  They both die laughing again.  Meanwhile, I am dying from the aromas.  The pattern continues, Zack expells loud odiferous tooters and they both squeal with laughter.

I decided this is some kind of aromatherapy in itself.  It definitely was a natural scent and it had an emotional response.  I think it’s the cheapest aromatherapy you could ever find for your 4 and 2 yr old boys.  It was really effective in cheering them up and making them feel happy.  However, I caution the user of this method: aromatherapy through tooters does have mixed results.  While the children were rolling on the floor laughing, I was disgusted and passed out from asphyxiation by my computer.  I don’t think that the mixed response was due to age differences because my husband has the same response to tooters as the kids.

Meanwhile, I am still trying to find some recipes for aromatherapy.  I will let you know what I come up with once my mind clears from this methane hangover I am suffering from.  Feel free to try the above method, that is, if you are man enough.

 

The Problem with Craft Stores

I think craft stores were made to taunt me and my family.  I like to feel crafty and sometimes think that I really can be a little creative in my handywork.  So, I tend to frequent the local craft stores.  Which means that my children usually go with me, because they are strapped to my body about 24/7.  Not always by choice.  Sometimes I wish that I was born a praying mantis so I could eat my young.  (I actually believe they eat their mates, and sometimes I would like to do that too.)

Anyway, yesterday was a craft store day.  I took the kids after preschool to pick up some more yarn.  I taught myself to crochet the other day (or at least that’s what I think I am doing by tying all kinds of knots in yarn) and I needed to get some more yarn for this cape I started.  Don’t ask me why a cape, I don’t really know.  It’s making me laugh though, a cape, I am sure it will be beautiful. 

I digress again, I went to the craft store, Hobby Lobby to be exact, with the kids.  Did I mention that I have 3 kids all 4 yrs old and younger??  Do any of you remember the time Security was called in by the staff at Michaels because of my children?  Am I crazy?  Yes, I am.  We get to the store and of course, they just want to go home.  They whine and fret, so I do what any other great mom would do.  I bribe them.  I bribe them with craft store junk  goodies.  They could get a “treat” if all 3 of them get through the store to get mommy’s yarn. 

We go into the store and the carts if you recall are so small here that no child could possibly ride in it.  I still have Gret in the car seat, so I balance that on the cart and cut a path straight to the yarn.  On the way, we pass a display of foam airplanes that promise to fly up to 30 feet.  Yippee, they are cheap and I let the boys each pick one out.  They are so happy and we have now made it to the yarn section.

I take a moment to pick out the kind of yarn that I need and as I do so, I see Zach fling his airplane up into the air.  It takes it’s magical flight right over top of 2 tall sets of display shelves and into another aisle.  Yep, 30 feet.  That’s about right.  At about the time it lands I hear 2 women shriek, “Whoa!  Oh my gosh, what the heck is that?  Watch out!  Where’d that come from?”

I am SO embarrassed.  Zach looks at me with big eyes as if to say, ” What now?”  I don’t want to go and see whose eye my child almost poked out.  My choice, I sent my 4 year old to go retrieve his own plane (he needs to learn the consequences of his actions anyway :))  He meekly runs to get it.  I stay in my place and wait.  He quietly comes back with his plane. 

“Did you see 2 ladies?”  I whisper.

“Yes,” Zach says, “They were right by my plane”.

“Let’s go”, I say, thinking we could hurry before I actually have to face the women.  But, too late.  They come looking for me.  They look around the end cap and I humbly smile at them.  The women shake their heads and leave me to my pack animals, my yarn, and my embarrassment. 

Now, if only I would learn my lesson and keep away from craft stores.  I just can’t stop myself from trying to go there with the kids.  They keep taunting me.  Perhaps, when I pass on to the great big prairie in the sky, you will remember these stories and suggest that my headstone simply state, “Here lies Stacey.  Wife, Mother and Friend.  At Least She Tried…”

 

Why Age Does Matter!

Alright, here’s a “bad mommy” story for you.  I bought some cute suncatcher kits for the kids to make during these boring winter days.  You know, the kind that has the metal form and you put little plastic pieces in the different areas.  Then you put them in the oven so the pieces melt into a beautiful colorful suncatcher.  I am sure that you have all done this before, but probably not when you were a toddler and probably not with your toddlers.  And that’s why you would be much, much smarter than I.

Well, the boys were getting a little nutzy yesterday and I brought out the suncatcher kits.  They were so excited.  Anson had one with dolphins and Zach had one with Planets and stars.  The kits promised that the suncatcher would even glow when finished.  We couldn’t wait!!  I put out the forms on a baking sheet and put the little plastic beads in separate dishes according to color.  We began our crafty quest in good form.  Zach was very particular to put the yellow beads in the stars.  Anson was putting the blue beads approximately in the areas for water on his.  Then Zach mixed together all the red and yellow beads.  I turned around to sort through some things on the counter.  Anson mixed together all of his colors into one dish and was piling them onto his form.  I decided I would fix that just before I put it in the oven or it would take 5 hours to melt.  I turned away again, they were doing great!  I could even read some mail while they were finishing up this great little activity.  Then I heard Anson exclaim, “UMM!  Yummy Sprinkles!”  

“Oh yes, it’s very yummy, isn’t it!” I reply.  Wait!  There were no yummy sprinkles out.  They aren’t decorating cookies.  I quickly turn around only to see heaping mounds of plastic beads on their suncatcher forms and millions of blue plastic beads clinging to Anson’s smiling lips! Yummy Sprinkles!  Oh my goodness!!  My son is eating tons of blue plastic glow in the dark beads!  On my watch! 

I jump over to Anson and try to pry his mouth open.  A bunch of the little beads fell out but his tongue is still covered with them.  They stick there and I try to get him to spit them out.  Instead, he clenches his jaw shut and swallows.    Yummy!  I try not to panic.  “Stick out your tongue!”, I demand.  Anson complies, but too late!  All the blue beads have disappeared into his belly.  I wait a second and he doesn’t choke.  At least that danger is done.  I pick up the packaging to look at the toxicity hazards.  It says to avoid swallowing and that it is recommended for 8+ years of age.  I guess that you have to be 8 years old to understand that they are not edible blue sprinkles.  I guess it’s also a good idea to follow the package recommendation for age appropriateness. 

I ended up putting the mixed up plastic bead covered suncatchers in the oven and the results weren’t too bad if you ignore the unrealistics colors for the scenes.  As for Anson, we sit and wait.  There were not immediate side effects from the glow in the dark blue plastic beads.  He didn’t glow in the dark when we put him to bed.  He didn’t become ill.  We just keep hoping that the pretty glowing blue sprinkles will reappear in the next day or two after they pass successfully through his system.  A glowing diaper may prove to be just as entertaining for him as making the suncatchers themselves.